4-year old girl: "I made a secret bed in my parent's room." Me: "Why would you do that?" 4-year old girl: "So I can stop them in case they do naughty stuff." Me: "Like...what naughty stuff?" 4-year old girl: "Like eating candy in bed." Me: "Oh thank goodness."
Thoughts & Writings
Boy: "Hey Michael Lobo, do you know where babies come from?"
Me: "I have an idea but what do you got?" Boy: "The mom has an egg in her body. Then the dad has an egg that looks like a jellyfish but it's not. And it comes from his penis. It goes in the egg and then the baby grows. Then it looks like a dragon and it grows bones! Then in a couple days, it comes out of the mom's VAGINA!!"
(He yelled "vagina.")